SUBMISSION GUIDELINES


TOM - We want yer submissions

DICK - Yeah GIVE US YER FUCKING SUBMISSION.  NOW!

TOM - I don’t think that’s how you do it Dick.

DICK - You sure?  What are submissions anyway? 

TOM - It’s like poetry and stuff.

DICK - Oh that old bollocks. Can you smoke ‘em?

TOM - Nah.

DICK - Disappointing Tom.  Very disappointing.

TOM - We tell people what we want to publish.

DICK - Like?

TOM - Well, what we want is little stories or poems with a toilet theme or pictures of poetry, graffiti, or art work that the good people out there have seen on public toilet walls.

DICK - Good one Tom.  Like Dick’s got a massive dick.

TOM - Sort of, only a bit, mmm a lot, more imaginative, funny, and original than that, then we tell them to send it to us piccys as a .jpg file.  But the bestest bits will be original poems and flash fiction writings with a bog theme which can be submitted as a .doc file although bestest ones of all come in the body of email. 


And send to: dickandtom@cluelesscollective.co.uk 
but to be sure they put: 
BB - submission - (name) 
in the subject line.

DICK - Why?

TOM - Well if they don’t do that then we won’t open it.

DICK - Is that it?

TOM - Yep.  Except to add nuffink smelly.

DICK - Sounds crap.  I’m off to the pub with me marker pen to write Dick’s got a massive dick on the pub’s bog wall.


TOM - Wait Dick!  We need to tell people to add their contact details and location of where they got their submission thingy from.


DICK - You forgot that didn't you Tom.


TOM - Yeah!  I'm all excited Dick.