Thursday, 16 March 2017
TOM - Here's a new poem from Mr Ed, Dick.
DICK - Post it up Tom, post it up.
TOM - It's very tiny. I think he's forgotten to send us most of it.
DICK - It's in stylee of a haiku, or as Mr Ed says a scatku.
TOM - Well it's all a bit Chinese to me.
DICK - I think you'll find it's Japanese.
TOM - Well I suppose that's why you're the poetry genius.
DICK - Yes, I am the poetry master. Get posting you sock counting numpty.
toilet paper unrolling
one-hand ass wipe—
the sound of poo flushing
by Ed Higgins.
Wednesday, 1 March 2017
DICK - It’s shite being a toon Tom. Some people blame the humans. I don’t, they’re just fuckwits, we, on the other hand were drawn and created by fuckwits. We’re the scum of the earth. Litter. We ain’t even proper drawings. We’re the lowest of the low.
TOM – Inspirational speech by Dick. No wonder we get so screwed-up.