DICK – I found this book that’s all full of old fashioned sayings.
TOM – What are sayings and what do they wear?
DICK – Plus fours and a jock strap. You know, things people used to say like: A shit in the hand should have been done behind the bush, or a shit in time saves messy undercrackers.
TOM – Fascinating.
DICK – There’s loads in here:
Poo is thicker than wee.
Poo the whole nine yards.
More than you can shake a shitty stick at.
Rule of thumb.
TOM – I don’t understand, it’s just talking.
DICK – Well it’s like this, we could say you’re a cunt, or we could say many a mickle mocks a muckle.
TOM – So what’s all that mockle mush about then?
DICK – It means yer a dumb cunt.
TOM – I don’t get it.
DICK – Dumb cunt.