Friday, 24 June 2016


TOM - Thought Brexit was pooing out yer breakfast.

DICK - I can see where yer coming from Tom, but the morning dump is just that, a common or garden morning dump. No need for any grand names.

TOM - I don't do that in the garden.

DICK - It's an expression Tom, like Tom's a cunt.

TOM - Thanks for clearing that up, wanker.

Sunday, 19 June 2016



TOM – You got us sacked from the CluelessCollective’s site didn’t yer?

DICK – I don’t think I did actually ‘cos we ain’t been sacked. And besides if anyone ‘as got us sacked it’s you for being boring.

TOM – No! It would deffo be you for looking up Drew’s skirt, or coming back from the pub and throwing up over their precious poems, or picking a fight with Mankie the Cat. So if we ain’t been sacked what we doing in this dark smelly corner of your disgusting mind?

DICK – We are now in charge of our own destiny.

TOM – Sacked!

DICK – No Tom. They suggested we invest more time over here so we can do what we want to do. They wanted more room for their poems and we should be doing our own thing. Once they realise they no longer have their poetry genius, aka me, to hand they’ll regret their decision. You’ll see.

TOM – So no more investigating then. I liked investigating.

DICK – I shall investigate the prospect of investigating down the pub. Best place to start investigating don’t you think?


TOM – In your case, no.