DICK - We've another offering from Miss Amy, Tom.

TOM - She's good ain't she?

DICK - I believe it's 'cos I'm her cartoon dreamboat.

TOM - Could be me.

DICK - No Tom, it couldn't.  Let's face it, you're a sock counting wanker, and I'm a cartoon girlie magnet.

TOM - But you still wear socks.

DICK - Not in bed, Tom.  Or the bath, come to that.

TOM - When did you have a bath?

DICK - It was a dark night and the wind was rustling through the tree tops …

TOM - Fuck off!  Here's Miss Amy, and her information is as below.

Kneeling Before the Porcelain Throne by A. J. Huffman

Kneeling Before the Porcelain Throne

Acid.

Corrosive waves

attack me from inside.

I am waiting for eruptive

vomit.

DICK - Miss Amy's at it again.

TOM - That girl must go to the loo everyday.

DICK - I think yer supposed to.

TOM - Really?  I went in there last year to tidy up all your Playtoons.  I think we got a damp problem in there 'cos they were all stuck together.

DICK - We don't need to go 'cos we're toons.  We just go for fun.

TOM - For the crack.

DICK - That ain't how yer spell it, numpty.  Here's Amy:


I Am Toilet by A. J. Huffman

I Am Toilet

paper, random roll of almost attached pieces,

thin as air.  Crumpled in fist, I become barely passable

tool to clean up, dislodge random shit.  I am raw,

irritating, a pain in the ass.  I am disposable,

dropped and forgotten with every flush.

A.J. Huffman has published six solo chapbooks and one joint chapbook through various small presses.  She is a Pushcart Prize nominee, and the winner of the 2012 Promise of Light Haiku Contest.  Her poetry, fiction, and haiku have appeared in hundreds of national and international journals, including Labletter, The James Dickey Review, Bone Orchard, EgoPHobia, Kritya, and Offerta Speciale, in which her work appeared in both English and Italian translation.  She is also the founding editor of Kind of a Hurricane Press.  www.kindofahurricanepress.com