DICK - Tom, I’m pretty pleased with meself ‘cos I just dun a post modern dump although the colour was very 70’s retro brown, I ain’t chatting beige or orange. It was the only period people believed the colour brown was a good idea. These days we just think of as shit. TOM - Well dun you. DICK - I'm as proud as poo-punch. TOM - I always knew you had it in you. DICK - Not no more I ain't.
TOM – Dick, I’ve just read that new poem
from Miss Tina.
DICK – Good ain’t it. I love poems from
ladies. They smell nice.
TOM – Should I post it on our bloggy blog
DICK – Of course Tom. I don’t want to stop
you from doing your exercises but poems don’t post themselves. Just smell those
verbs and all those petalled wordies.
TOM – It’s very deep and meaningful. I’ve
heard of hair conditioner, but …
DICK – Hair conditioner is a very nice mid-afternoon
drink. I suspect Miss Tina’s poem is about poo coming out of yer bum but I’ve
not had time to read it proper yet as there’s been poo coming out of me bum.
Let’s read …
“Morning Sickness, 12th Grade”
Graffiti on the wall of the girl’s bathroom stall Reads, “I am the passionate moss of hopeless contradictions that is the human condition” - And then, “I love somewhat deranged”. I wonder what that means. I guess it’s better than, “Rainbow was here”, Or “Fuck all ya’ll hoes”.
by Tina Hernandez
A small press published Tina's collection of literary short stories, Twenty Troubled Ladies, and used a short horror story, My Aunt Vicky's House, in a collection by multiple authors. Both are available on Amazon.
TOM - Here's a new poem from Mr Ed, Dick. DICK - Post it up Tom, post it up. TOM - It's very tiny. I think he's forgotten to send us most of it. DICK - It's in stylee of a haiku, or as Mr Ed says a scatku. TOM - Well it's all a bit Chinese to me. DICK - I think you'll find it's Japanese. TOM - Well I suppose that's why you're the poetry genius. DICK - Yes, I am the poetry master. Get posting you sock counting numpty. After Basho
toilet paper unrolling one-hand ass wipe— the sound of poo flushing by Ed Higgins.